EXCLUSIVE: UnitedHealth Lobbyist Announces Pelosi Fundraiser As She Begins Backing Off Pub Option
by: David Sirota
Fri Sep 11, 2009 at 17:47
~~~~~
Dear Nancy Pelosi,
Let’s take a stroll down memory lane… do you recall how just a few weeks ago you called all those big nasty meanies at the health insurance companies “evil” and “immoral” and Lord-only-knows-what-else? Do you remember the disdain you had for them in your heart of hearts? Do you recall how angry and belligerent you felt as you uttered those words of disgust from your lips? I know you do. You are such a great crusader against corruption! How diligent you are in your efforts to root out evil wherever it tries to hide! You are a saint, my dear! We thank you for your concern and your service!
Oh, my dearest Nancy, let’s not forget just how adamant you were about the need for the so-called “public-option” on the President’s (ha!) “health-insurance reform” bill. You loved this option so, didn’t you? Yes, you did because you lovingly care for all the less fortunate people out there who can’t afford health insurance, and you want to give them an inferior, cheap, government-funded, private competition killing anlternative to those ugly mean brutes at the insurance companies. I know your heart, Nancy-pants, and I admire your concern for those huddled masses. You truly rival Mother Theresa and the Statue of Liberty in compassion and selflessness.We are blessed to have you as our Speaker of the House… such a wonderful shining example of what it is to be a government official, and what a role model we have to look up to and aspire to be!
Now I hear that you are changing your mind on what is best for all of us sheep in Amerika. I have heard through the grapevine that your stance on the glorious leader’s public option idea may be waning. Well, you know best, Sweet Nancy. We trust you with our lives and our livelihood!Can we contribute more money to help you jet-set across the Country to lecture us on what’s best for us? Do you need more money for your fancy suits and expensive shoes? Please, just let us know and we’ll sell some more blood to pay your bills! We have plenty!
I also see that you are now attending a fundraiser in your own honor… a fundraiser that is sponsored by a lobbyist (*GASP!*) for one of those giant evil ogres of the so-called “health insurance industry”, United Health. While I know this looks extremely nefarious and self-serving, I have faith in you, Our Loving Nancy, that the announcement of this fundraiser being so close to your waning of the public-option is only coincidental. I’m also sure that you are only allowing these people to raise money for you because you want to win them over with your superior values and intellect to do what it right for the people of this Country, and to give them a chance at redeeming themselves and earning a place for themselves at your right hand in heaven.
We are so grateful to you for all that you do,
Your adoring public
Tags: fundraisers, health care reform, nancy pelosi, public option, Steve Elmendorf, united health